"To Mourn with those that mourn"
This has been a real and living part of my life since I started doing energy work. In the dictionary mourn is: To feel or express grief or sorrow.
What does the word mourn bring up in you? Why is mourning such an important part of our lives? And do we really need to feel mourn?
What does mourning bring up in me? One of my earlier child stories comes to mind.
When I was ten my sister, one and a half, was found in our pool. After two weeks in the hospital she passed. My one memory I have of that day or actually the whole incident is of my mom. I have only a glimpse of remembrance but it was us standing outside the hospital in Vegas. It was so hot, the sun was beating down on us, and my mom was crying. It was a cry that I will never forget. It was the deepest heart wrenching cry that rocked me to my soul. I can remember the pain she was in. I didn't know what to do but hold the space for her to mourn. I will never forget that and feel that it has been a key to my love I have had for my mom despite our disagreements and hardships.
So when I think of mourning, I think of pain. The kind of pain that only deep love can bring. The pain that our Savior had when he sacrificed his life for us. The pain he must have felt as he knelt in Gethsemane.
"And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."
He suffered so that I could mourn and be free from the bondage that pain can give.
My understanding of mourning, came at an early age and was a gift from my mom and her love for her sweet baby girl. I am in such deep appreciation to her, my Heavenly Father, and my sister Emily in showing me what mourning really is.
Why is this important to my existence?
My first energy session was with a women I didn't know very well. I was drawn to her knee. She had been having a hard time moving forward I was taken to parts of her life, the painful parts. The parts that not many in her life were able to see. The times when her heart was desiring to be free, to have love, and to be healed. As I saw her pain I couldn't help but cry for her. To hold her in my heart and experience her pain for that split second. When I shared what I felt she couldn't hold back her tears. It was like she was, finally, seen and heard. She had this peace come over her that she hadn't felt for years. At that moment I knew that this was a gift from God. That the path God placed me on was one that I would be fulfilled in. I felt that I would be fulfilling the scripture I had read countless times from the Prophet Alma "and are willing to mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort." I am heeding that call as I embrace and mourn with each new person I work on. They are released from pain that may have been held in their spirits and bodies for years. It is God's errand and his work.
I have been asked many times does seeing others pain create more pain in me? Do I get drained? The answer is a HUGE no. I believe that it is a type of unconditional love that we can't feel any other way. I believe that it gives me the rights and privileges God wants to have me accept. I believe that I know my Savior a portion more by witnessing, with love, the deep pain of another.
We all mourn. There is no escaping it. Our Savior mourned it all. We have one person who knows all of our pain. What a blessing to have others that can step in for the Savior and allow us to be heard and seen on this physical plane.
This isn't my burden. It is my joy.
I invite those that are reading to ask yourself in prayer what mourning means to you and if there is a person that God knows is in deep pain and needs to have a companion to mourn with. If done with the spirit it will be a healing experience for both.
Friday, July 11, 2014
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Patience Is a Virtue
I grew up with the term “patience is a virtue.”
I don’t know where I got it or who told it to me growing up but I remember having this conversation with myself many times. At times when I was offended by someone, or someone made a mistake that I knew I needed to forgive I would tell myself in my head, “Patience is a virtue.”
However, in my pride, whenever I was offended by my self or I made a mistake there was no such conversation in my head. My self-talk went something like this, “What is wrong with me? I am unforgivable. I can’t believe I did that. If anyone knew the truth about me, they would hate me. I hate myself.” There were many more sayings that I repeated in my head over and over and over again, but you get the idea. I was usually willing to give others the benefit of the doubt, but not myself. What self-defeating behavior this was!
Patience is a virtue and must be applied in generous doses. To others and to self. Here are the reasons why:
Patience takes you out of a place of pride and into a place of humility. When we allow ourselves to indulge in negative self-talk, we are in effect denying the atonement. We are telling God that he can not help us. Patience on the other hand, recognizes the need for help from a source greater than ourselves. It puts us in a place to get on our knees and ask for help with overcoming weakness.
Patience provides a safe environment. When a good friend comes to us and confides in us something terrible they have done, do we assault them with an arsenal of verbal weapons and tell them how horrible they are? Hopefully not, or they probably won’t confide in us much. No, we wrap our arms around them and give them our love, support, and forgiveness. We can not escape ourselves or our own thoughts, so we must learn to figuratively wrap our arms around ourselves.
Patience is a catalyst for change. Without love for others and ourselves, there is no catalyst for true change. Yes, we can guilt ourselves and others into changing temporarily, but it doesn’t last. Lasting change and repentance stems from love and acceptance, not guilt. Can you think of the people in your life who have inspired you the most? Were they mean and hateful? Or were they loving and kind?
Patience is a trait of the Savior. What did Christ do when the adulterous woman was brought before him to be judged? He did not condemn her. He showed compassion. He forgave her. I believe the words, “Go, and sin no more” were more than just a commandment. These words were a vote of confidence in her that she had the ability to change. He didn’t say, “If you don’t change by tomorrow, I will not love you anymore.” Often times, when we make goals for ourselves, and then in weakness slip up or have a set back, we show no mercy. We condemn ourselves to death. The Savior does not do this, instead he says,
“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
It can not be repeated too many times. Patience is a virtue. And it can make the difference between being stuck in our old patterns, and repentance. I choose the latter, who is with me?
I don’t know where I got it or who told it to me growing up but I remember having this conversation with myself many times. At times when I was offended by someone, or someone made a mistake that I knew I needed to forgive I would tell myself in my head, “Patience is a virtue.”
However, in my pride, whenever I was offended by my self or I made a mistake there was no such conversation in my head. My self-talk went something like this, “What is wrong with me? I am unforgivable. I can’t believe I did that. If anyone knew the truth about me, they would hate me. I hate myself.” There were many more sayings that I repeated in my head over and over and over again, but you get the idea. I was usually willing to give others the benefit of the doubt, but not myself. What self-defeating behavior this was!
Patience is a virtue and must be applied in generous doses. To others and to self. Here are the reasons why:
Patience takes you out of a place of pride and into a place of humility. When we allow ourselves to indulge in negative self-talk, we are in effect denying the atonement. We are telling God that he can not help us. Patience on the other hand, recognizes the need for help from a source greater than ourselves. It puts us in a place to get on our knees and ask for help with overcoming weakness.
Patience provides a safe environment. When a good friend comes to us and confides in us something terrible they have done, do we assault them with an arsenal of verbal weapons and tell them how horrible they are? Hopefully not, or they probably won’t confide in us much. No, we wrap our arms around them and give them our love, support, and forgiveness. We can not escape ourselves or our own thoughts, so we must learn to figuratively wrap our arms around ourselves.
Patience is a catalyst for change. Without love for others and ourselves, there is no catalyst for true change. Yes, we can guilt ourselves and others into changing temporarily, but it doesn’t last. Lasting change and repentance stems from love and acceptance, not guilt. Can you think of the people in your life who have inspired you the most? Were they mean and hateful? Or were they loving and kind?
Patience is a trait of the Savior. What did Christ do when the adulterous woman was brought before him to be judged? He did not condemn her. He showed compassion. He forgave her. I believe the words, “Go, and sin no more” were more than just a commandment. These words were a vote of confidence in her that she had the ability to change. He didn’t say, “If you don’t change by tomorrow, I will not love you anymore.” Often times, when we make goals for ourselves, and then in weakness slip up or have a set back, we show no mercy. We condemn ourselves to death. The Savior does not do this, instead he says,
“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
It can not be repeated too many times. Patience is a virtue. And it can make the difference between being stuck in our old patterns, and repentance. I choose the latter, who is with me?
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