Time to start digging!

For years I had judged the man in the parable of the talents who hid his talent.   I had wondered why would he hide it?  To be honest I kind of judged him.  As I have grown and especially this past year I have learned I am a lot more like that man than I would like to admit. Why? Because for years I have been hiding my gifts. Not wanting others to know. Not wanting them to know I was different or maybe even weird. 

We live in a society that teaches us the importance of fitting in. We learn very young it is best to be “normal”.   In the past when I would tell people about my talents or gifts they were not always received well.  Most thought I was making it up and others thought I was weird.  As time went on I learned to keep quiet. I learned to act as if they didn't exist. Over time I did a great job of hiding my talents. In fact I did such a good job that some of my best friends and most of my family didn't know I even had them. Except for a few rare times in my life where my talents were so present others found out for the most part they remand hidden in me.  The few times they came out I always felt the Lords hand helping me through it and watching over me. But for the most part no one knew.   It made life easier.   It was comfortable.

Then it came, the assignment from God to tell the world of some of my talents.   As you can imagine this freaked me out. Really freaked me out. I didn't want anyone to know.  Hardly anyone who knows me has any idea of a big part of me.  Challenges I face and hide from the world.  And now suddenly I was suppose to share it with strangers?  I had hidden my talents well and I wanted it to stay that way.  I felt I had already shown blind obedience the last 9 plus years of my life.  Wasn’t that enough?  I had done projects He had asked me to regardless of the outcome. Hadn't I already followed His will and done what He had asked me to without sharing them? Why this? I had never had to share my talents before and still did His will. Couldn't they remain hidden? It had worked in the past but this time it wouldn't. Now I was helping with books and workshops about my talents. Yikes.  After much pondering, prayer and fasting I agreed.  I tolfd Heavenly Father I would do as He asked but still I worried.    I had been hurt before with others not believing or supporting me in who I really was. 

I suddenly saw myself standing in front of my Savior.  He asked what I had done with my talents. I felt my heart sink and my throat tighten. “I hide them Lord. I hide them.” I confessed as tears rolled down my cheeks.  He raised my face to His. I know was all he replied.  I tried to explain how hard it was. How people didn’t believe. The struggles I had.   I waited for Him to tell me He was disappointed and that I had wasted so much. All He did was hug me. He hugged me as I cried.  Then in His arms I saw all I could have done.  The people I could have helped.  My heart filled with hope and joy.  I looked up in His eyes full of love and understanding and said “Come what may Lord, I will do as you ask Lord.” In that moment I knew all would be well. Regardless of what He asked me to do He was with me and He would never leave me.

As the vision left my mind I was given a new understanding.  I had been hiding behind the counsel to keep things scared also secret. Yet, I now knew that wasn’t true.  I had fully hid my talents and buried them deep.  I wasn’t keep them sacred I wasn’t using them at all.  The Lord had shown me yes I was to tell some people something sometimes but not all people all the time.  It wasn’t up to me when or how to share them but up to Him. It was up to the Lord. 

Getting into the world of “energy healing” has given me a path and avenue to use my talents and gifts.  They aren’t for my benefits but for others. God gave them to me to bless and help His children.

The past 6 plus months we have been working on our books on the atonement and healing through energy work. It has been wonderful. Then this last month we were able to do put on our first workshop where I was able to speak about gifts. As I prepared for what I would say the Spirit told me I would be opening up and sharing some of my gifts at the workshop. I felt such peace as I prepared. Then before I left to the workshop I asked my wonderful husband for a blessing. (Oh how I love the Priesthood and worthy priesthood holders J )  In the blessing He said I would share all that God wanted me to and that those who attended would be blessed.  This gave me comfort.  It was another witness that I was meant to share and that it was what my Heavenly Father wanted. Throughout the workshop I was filled with the spirit and guided when to talk and what to share.   It was so powerful and freeing.  Before I knew it I had unburied my gifts and shared them with those in attendance and I felt peace and comfort. While I did not share all with them they were all free and so was I.

During my portion to speak I was taught as much if not more than the others who where there.  The Spirit started speaking through me and I shared with them the exact things I needed to learn.  Words flowed from my mouth that were not my own.  I talked of Satan wanting us to hide our gifts or be afraid of our gifts because he knows that is exactly what is needed to help prepare the world for Christ.  We need to step up and into our gifts and start preparing for Zion now. Never in the world have the gifts of the spirit been so needed.  We are facing more darkness than the world has ever known we need to share our light.   In order to prepare for Zion we need to acknowledge and use the talents and gifts God has given us. He has given them to us for a reason.  That was obviously not from me because here I was just starting to remove the dust mine had collected being hidden so long.  As the spirit filled me and guided me in what to say I felt the truth and power of what I was saying.  The importance of ALL of us unburying our hidden talents.   Being willing to be looked at as weird and trust more in the arm of the Lord than in the arm of flesh.  After the workshop I had a few of the sisters that attended thank me for opening up and telling them about my gifts. They then each shared how it had helped them. How they too knew there were suppose to stop hiding their gifts.  How they knew Satan had been working on them to doubt them. Some said it had been an answer to their prayer.   What they didn't know was it was also an answer to mine.  As I watched the tears fill their eyes I could tell they felt free and so did I.  We had taken of the chains of darkness that had stopped us from sharing our gifts with the world and had stepped into our light.  We had replaced our fear with faith.

When pondering all of this I wondered if I had really believed the scriptures. I mean truly believe them. Did I believe that an angel appeared to Mary? Did I believe that just by touching Christ’s clothes a woman had been healed?  Or that women can prophesy like it said in the scriptures?  Did I believe it or think of it more as a good story?   Looking back I know I beloved yet I put all of those in a different category than myself.   I felt unworthy and frightened of my gifts.  I thought they seemed more like a burden than blessing.  But I was wrong. God is not a respecter of persons. All He has to work with is flawed individuals and He is okay with that. He loves us and has faith in us anyways. As I spoke in the workshop I saw another vision. A vision of the scripture "“And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams."   I saw this being fulfilled in the daughter of God in that room and then in daughters of God all over the world. It was amazing. Amazing :-)  

I was told that time is now.   The Lord wants and needs His children prepared. He has given us gifts to use them not hide them. Not to be afraid. And hide them but to bless others with them.  I was grateful for the opportunity to write these book and do that workshop.  What a blessing it was to share and have it bless others. I was equally grateful to see the gifts in others.

I wanted to give my testimony that the time is now. The Lord has blessed us with talents and He wants and needs us to use those gifts to bless His children and help bring wounded souls back to Him.  In order for Christ to return we need to be a changed people.  By each of us using and sharing our gifts when directed by the spirit we will heal and become one.  I love the name of the book company we are writing (which is also the name for this blog) we chose Hearts Knit. Why?  Because our desire is to help God anyway we can prepare the world for our Saviors return. Do I feel unworthy oh yes and the truth is I am. But this is His way of helping get me where I am suppose to be and then I can use what I have gone through to help others.

I also know the hardship that comes with some of these gifts.  They can be scary and dark.  Gifts are not always easy but I promise you they are worth it.  I have felt that to. There were times in my life where I was so afraid of my hits I would mentally check out. I would push them down and try to make them not be there. This helped and it worked. BUT it also shut out the light.  As I have grown and learned I now know that God is stronger.  I am stronger.   I do not need to fear darkness.  I just need to follow the light. Don't allow Satan to scare you away from your gifts. If you do you will be stopping yourself from amazing amazing things.   There is a reason Satan tried to scare Joseph Smith before he prayed in the sacred grove.  He knows the power of light. He knows what our gifts will bring. He knows that we need to use out gifts in order to make it through all is to come. Don't allow him to hold you back.  Have faith that God is stronger than ALL darkness because He is. He is.  I testify that you will be given power to deal with and then overcome the hard that you might have experienced with your gifts.  Through our obedience and righteous choices Satan looses access to us. We can shun Him in our lives now.  Do not wait until you are perfect to live your gifts for none of us are perfect.  However, even in our imperfections Christ will lead us and protect us. 

It is true we should keep sacred things sacred but how do we know what we are not supposed to share if we do not ask.  There is darkness spreading all around us. But Heavenly Father is stronger. Christ light is stronger.  It is time for us to make a difference and to spread life and light.  One of my gifts is seeing other spiritual gifts as well as their light. WOW what hope this gives. When you see all of the abilities, talents and gifts in each of His children you know there is great hope and light.   You can see how God will defeat such darkness.  He has it all worked out. Now all He needs us to start digging and unbury our gifts.  He needs us to turn it all over to Him and have faith in Him.  As someone who has had mine hidden for years I share with you my testimony of the strength that comes from our Lord.   The beautiful feeling of stepping into who you really are and to stop hiding and to start living.  

The more I do sessions on people the more I realize how many of us (almost all) are not living our spiritual gifts. Many of us remain unaware of what we have been given.  I pray that you will start to ponder what some of your gifts are, what gifts Heavenly Father is waiting to give you, and what gifts have you hidden.  Don't worry you haven't been given any. Do not covet or compare.  Realize you have everything you need all you have to do is find out what they are if you don't already now.     So for any of you out there who are doing what I was and hiding your talents   

In other words, have fun because it is time to start digging J   

Love your Sis

Paige

A Day in the Life at the Park.

A few days ago I went to the park with my kids. I thought I was doing something great for them.  It turns out, it was really for me.  Here is what happenned:

All of my kids were swinging in the swings, so I decided to join them.  I started up, pumping my legs to get to speed as quickly as possible, when I felt a huge push on my back.  It was my daughter.  She gave me 3 or 4 firm pushes and I was flying in the sky.  It was so exhilarating!  This may sound silly but I was amazed at the power that came from her pushes and the speed at which I reached the limit of the swing.  I have not been pushed in a swing since I was 5 or 6 years old, and here I was 36 years old and being pushed in a swing.

Here are the ahas I had as I was soaring in the swing that day.

1. I learned that I love to receive help.  My whole life I have been trying to prove my worth by doing everything myself.  I have always had a difficult time allowing others to help me with anything I can possibly do alone.

2.  Things get done much faster and in a more powerful way when I allow others to help me.

3. When I allow others to help me, I have more time and energy to serve others, and I want to serve because I feel so loved.

4.  Life is so much more fun when we help each other!

5.  I never want to go back to the old way again!